Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
