So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
