do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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