How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
