I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
