He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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