Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
