How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
