why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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