I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
