She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
