and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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