Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
