just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
