Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
