So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
