Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
