Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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