It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
