At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
