i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Randomize
