you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize