their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My liver just had a heart attack.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
