I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize