I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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