It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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