why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
