found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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