Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
