watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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