dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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