Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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