would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they need to just BURY HIM!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize