i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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