A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
