If that was your dad, he is hot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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