chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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