You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
