He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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