i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
false alarm, still single
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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