Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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