is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
