I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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