You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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