That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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