I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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