My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
