bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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