when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
