I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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