it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
