Quick, to the slutcave!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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