I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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