Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
