She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize