): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
