I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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