Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
