I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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