Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
