the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
