why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
you made out with another girl for some wings
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
