i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
