brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
