is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
