Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize