That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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