need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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