The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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