This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Alive.
So much puke
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
