I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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