I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just want to make out with him forever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
