brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
