my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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