You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
