apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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