Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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