are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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